The First Crusader

The First Crusader 

Robert Curthose (c.1051-1134) was the eldest son of William the Conqueror and Duke of Normandy from 1087-1106. His nickname 'Curthouse' came from the Norman-French word 'courtheus' or 'short-stockings'. According to William of Malmesbury and Orderic Vitalis, Robert's father derisively named him 'brevis-ocrea' – 'short boot'.

Short Bob, it is fair to say, didn't get along with his family. He first revolted against his father in 1077, supposedly after a fight with his younger brothers William Rufus and Henry, who dumped the contents of a chamber-pot over his head. At a battle in 1079, Robert unhorsed King William and injured him, only stopping when he recognised his father's voice. Father and son were reconciled in 1080, but Robert then left court and spent several years wandering about France, Germany, Flanders and Italy. 

After the death of William I in 1087, Robert made a half-cocked effort to seize control of England, but failed. He joined the First Crusade in 1096, and funded the expedition by mortgaging Normandy to the tune of 10,000 marks. He and his brother-in-law, Stephen of Blois, were among the last Frankish leaders to arrive at Constantinople. 

The crusade was exactly the kind of military adventurism suited to Robert's talents. He did well, fighting in all the major engagements and taking part in the siege of Jerusalem. The fulfilment of his crusading vows was a great personal truimph for Robert – perhaps the greatest, since it was all downhill from there. 

In autumn 1099 Robert went to Constantinople, where Alexios I offered him a place in the service of the Empire. He declined, perhaps unwisely, and returned to the West to challenge his brothers for the English crown. His attempted invasion of England ended in disaster, and then in 1106 Henry I launched a counter-invasion of Normandy. By this point, alleged Orderic, Robert was spending his nights fooling about with harlots and jesters, and lay all day in bed sleeping off colossal hangovers while his friends stole his clothes. I must admit, I quite like him. 

Meanwhile the hyper-efficient Henry steamed through Normandy at a rate of knots. The brothers met in battle at Tinechbrai, where Robert was decisively beaten and taken prisoner. He spent the rest of his life in prison, first at Devizes in Wiltshire and then in Cardiff. He died in 1134, in his early eighties, and was buried in the abbey church of St Peter in Gloucester. Ctto